Why is it so noisy in here!?

People are noise.  Not noisy, noise.  They carry a sound with them wherever they go.  Some people are very calm peaceful sounds – my grandmother was one of those.  When she was near she emanated that calm soothing sound and anyone near her felt its influence.  Some people are loud, harsh, brassy sounds like cymbals constantly clanging and banging.  When they walk in a room EVERYONE knows they’re there.

When I was young – a teenager and a young adult/parent – I didn’t mind the noise.  I relished it!  I surrounded myself with people of all sorts of different sounds.  I loved being in the middle of a huge orchestra, and loved even more if I was a major instrument in the noise being made, or even better, the conductor!  Oh to pull off an event or a party or a gathering of some kind!  A really big one, with lots and lots of people, especially if they all had a good time, THAT was my idea of fun!

As I’ve gotten older I’ve discovered I don’t like the noise as much.  I noticed it first when I would prefer to listen to something smooth and easy on the radio rather than the rocking and hopping music I’d always preferred.  Then I noticed myself choosing quieter friends – disharmony in the sound was NOT cool, I’d avoid it all costs.  I still liked people who had that loud sound but I needed less of them, and less time with the ones I knew.  I started finding myself preferring being around people like my grandmother who exuded calm, peaceful music, rather than that high energy bouncing off the walls craziness I had so wanted before.  (Don’t get me wrong I still want to be the conductor of a beautiful orchestra, but now I prefer Gossamer Heart by Lisa Lynne over The Ride of the Valkyries by Wagner.

Rebecca and I have talked about the noise people make.  She doesn’t make a lot.  Most of the time. J  Usually she is really quiet, doesn’t take up much space, doesn’t ask a lot.  She’s like a flute I think.  She can be low and mellow most of the time, and every now and then can emit piercing shrieks at the highest decibel known. Those moments aren’t so bad because they’re few.  She’s a good one to talk about the sounds people carry with them, perhaps because she knows what I’m talking about and doesn’t look at me like I’m insane.

My other big girls have different levels of sound - Ashley is a full out chorus of strings and winds with a little bit of trumpet and sax thrown in.  Vicky is ALL electric guitar and drums.  When she gets going, she GETS GOIN’!  But I don’t usually mind them even at their loudest.  

My littles make noise too, LOTS of it.  They are MADE of noise.  They aren’t even necessarily organized instruments either.  Maybe you have to grow into that.  They’re like …. Well, little kids :D…. playing with all sorts of instruments someone left lying around.  But they are NOISY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  And their noise bothers me.  

The big girls sometimes bother me too.   I hate to admit it, but there really are times I’m glad they head home to their various places.  I even feel guilty about admitting that.  I should LOOOOOVE having them here – and I do!  I’m just sometimes ready for them to leave.

The little girls CAN’T leave.  So their noise stays.  And the times of peace and quiet are SO rare.  Just when I think “Ahhhhhhhhh!” someone comes in and STANDS there.  They don’t have to say anything.  I know they WANT something from me, and their noise is a loud CRASH on my quietude.

Even my wonderful love and companion is noisy.  Rebecca described him best – he’s static.  He doesn’t MEAN to make noise (not usually, though sometimes he throws something loud and brash in there), but just his presence disturbs the quiet, even when he doesn’t mean to, doesn’t MAKE any noise, doesn’t WANT anything…..  Becca says she thinks its because he has nowhere or way to let off his own dissonance that intrudes on his soul so when he’s calm and quiet it just sort of emanates as a constant, barely audible but so definitely THERE static.

It takes quiet to feel the Spirit of the Lord.  Psalms 46:10 says “Be still, and know that I am God”.  Many of the Old Testament prophets and even the Savior Himself withdrew into the quiet of the wilderness to commune with the Father and hear His voice.  Peter went up to the roof of the house to spend time in prayer and allow himself the time and quiet he needed to receive revelation.  The Prophet Joseph Smith withdrew to a quiet glade to have privacy for a conversation with the Lord.

Well, I don’t know about you, but I do have a wilderness available – I live on the edge of woods.  But I rarely get to go there.  My littles would find me and want to know what I was doing.  I’ve tried finding a bit of quiet in the house, kneeling and praying in my room or in the living room when the girls were outside.  That doesn’t last long enough, maybe a minute or two.  Someone ALWAYS appears and stands there.  They may not say anything at all, but their sound is everywhere demanding to be heard.

So where does a mother go to have peace and quiet?  Where can she find solitude to talk with God?  How can she shut out the noise of everyone and everything around her?